Not Your Average Aunt

San Diego is a big place: 3 million people, 4200 square miles, and nearly 80,000 establishments.  That's a lot of ground to cover, especially when you're drawing maps by hand and your hand is jacked up from a mysterious sewing accident.  Any normal person would think, "You know, it's probably best to just buy a map for $2.99 and save myself the time and stress of reconstructing San Diego's roads and eateries from memory. I could just circle a few noteworthy areas and still have room to highlight the complex racial tensions south of El Cajon Blvd and west of College Ave.  I could even save myself some sleep by NOT waking up at 6am in a fit of hysteria because I nearly forgot to mention S.D. Blenders (a delicious place for an assortment of healthy foods). No, I will just buy a map."  But Aunt Lynne, as we all know, is not a normal person. She is Aunt Lynne: a category unto her own. And this is why we love her...

Lynne is my most trusted tour guide, for good reason it seems.  Her wealth of San Diego trivia is astonishing!  Examples: "See here, this is where the Jews live, it's called Jew Hill" and "The Portuguese have a strong influence in San Diego because the waters are filled with tuna."  I'm never quite sure what she'll say next.  It's like watching a jack in the box toy--you know the damn thing is going to jump out at you when the music stops, but still...IT GETS YOU EVERY TIME!

Art Appreciation

Lynne will always surprise me. That is a fact.  I almost considered dedicating an entire blog to her thoughts. She wouldn't like that, though. Or would she?

This morning she appeared in the hallway of Grandma's house without warning, scaring me half to death and causing me to question whether or not it's best for her to have a key. I think not. She could appear at any moment! Surprise! Today she rushed over to the house to bestow upon me a gift of untold worth: a stack of about 50 Bed Bath and Beyond coupons and this:

Right? It's fantastic.  I think I will frame it and treasure it always.  I can't decide what is my favorite part, "ETHNIC NEIGHBORHOOD" or the note that Pietro's is closed on Mondays. Oh Aunt Lynne!

And the day gets better with high-caliber artwork...

(Editor's note: I questioned whether not to share this next part. I mean, maybe the decent thing to do is NOT to take pictures of the random things you find around Grandma's house and post them on the internet for all the world to see.  But c'mon...this was just begging for attention.)

So I go to scan Lynne's marvelous map using Grandma's scanner (aka Ken's scanner).  I plug the machine into my laptop, test it out without looking to see if there was anything on the glass, and BAM!

"Remember me?" -Ken.

Yes, yes, yes. Amazing. Feel free to download the image and fill in the blanks as you see fit. Send me your artwork and we'll make a collage entitled "Impossible Expectations."

I think I'm going to love it here.