Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Please Allow Me to Introduce You...

...to my brain.

Have you ever wondered what a graduate student of American history thinks about when she's sleeping?  Well, you're in luck! These are the words that circulate in my head day and night--consciously and unconsciously....the never-ending madness of thinking.  Sadly, you won't find any references to Derek Hough's dancing ability.  It's a shame. That Derek sure knows how to shake it!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Shake It Out

Sometimes music happens to you at the exact moment you need it most.  Florence + the Machine happened this week.  And it was good.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Ladies & the "Common Fame"

The Feminization of Gossip in 17th Century Virginia by Joanna

"Brabling Women": women who just wouldn't keep their mouths shut...no matter what.
It's no secret that gossiping women are annoying, especially when they're gossiping about you.  They spread evil rumors about your scandalous behavior and tragically destroy any hope of Mr. Darcy asking for your hand in marriage.  But sometimes gossip can be a good thing, right? My dad says that gossip is the way society learns to regulate itself.  I believe this is true, not only because I loooove me some good gossip and I want society to learn that chomping on chips in public spaces is disgusting, but also because it's historically accurate! Without the regulating force of gossip, women in colonial America would have just gone around having babies with whoever the heck they wanted; they would have cursed the authority and overthrown the government; and they definitely would have found ways to cheat the system and inherit their dead husband's property. And that would have been bad for everyone (i.e. men).  Enter: women who rat out other women for the sake of social harmony (i.e. status quo patriarchal power).

In "olden times"America (ca. 1650s), gossiping women acted as the "mouthpieces of their community"; they testified in court, reported crimes of hanky panky, and pretty much ruled the streets with the venom of their words. Badass.  In a male-dominated world, gossip was the best opportunity for women to make themselves useful.  Having babies, scrubbing laundry, churning butter, and hoeing tobacco just wasn't going to cut it for these women. They needed some intellectual stimulation! So they chatted about social behaviors and decided what was--and what was not--appropriate for happy colonial living.  Interestingly, they too decided that chomping on chips in public spaces is disgusting.  

By 1657, however, things were getting a bit out of control and women were saying some crazy shit. We're talking serious slander, here. I mean, women weren't just ratting out other women, they were pointing fingers at men and the Governor himself!  One woman even accused her husband of "abusive and harsh carriages" toward her, "in speciall his sequestration of himself from the marriage bed." For shame! (This was, of course, her excuse for shackin' up with another married man...but that's besides the point.)  The equation worked like this:  women gossiping about other women=helpful advice/truthful testimony; women gossiping about men=slander/criminal offense.  At this time, female-perpetrated slander outnumbered male slander by nearly three to one. Way to go, ladies!  Naturally, "the Man" had had enough.  He was through being financially liable for his unruly wife's scandalous speech offenses. "I will not go broke over this nasty wench of wife any longer!" man screamed.  And the courts answered.  In lieu of paying fines, the law declared, you may now elect to have your wife "ducked." 

Think tortuous dunk tank.
Note: This is not the most effective way to extract an apology from your wife.  I mean, I don't really know; I'm not married and I don't know what it's like to be blamed for your spouse's bad behavior, but this is just ridiculous.
Despite this horrendous punishment, women would not be stopped! They kept right on accusing the neighbor of sneaking into their bedrooms and doing naughty things under the sheets.  Silly, intransigent women. 

Long story short, women kept saying weird things and men kept screaming, "shut up, you brabling woman, you're making us look bad!" So, the courts continued to prosecute female speech, conflating gossip with slander, and slander with women.  

Which is why, to this day, real men don't gossip; they "talk."

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Rounding Second

I think I can, I think I can...Chugga chugga chugga chugga.

My second year of grad school has commenced. One more year to go: 14 more weeks of coursework,  32 more weeks of reading (or maybe 48 weeks...who can say?), exams, and then...dunzo. It seems so easy. So achievable. So close. And yet, it seems impossible and SO. FAR. AWAY.  They tell me, "Joanna, you're so close; you can see the light at the end of the tunnel!" And I say, "the hell I can!" Maybe that "light" is around the next turn, somewhere between December and February.  But right now: no light.

This is what the light will look like when I can see it, which will be never.
So, in an effort to relieve this seemingly endless agony of rounding another base, I'm taking account of the lighter side of this oh-so lightless tunnel.* As it turns out, to my surprise, some things in history can be relatively easy and agony-free. Forget the complication of method, analysis, and bullshit high-minded theses; I choose easy. Rather than suffer through a year of grappling with historiography and stupid historical debates, I am choosing to settle in with some good-for-nothing stories of the highest caliber and the utmost truthiness.  Join me, won't you? I will educate the f--- out of you. (Beware: I use bad words.)

For tomorrow: The feminization of gossip in 17th century colonial Virginia. Get excited.

*I realize that mixed metaphors can cause some confusion. Am I playing baseball or am I a human train? Either way, the point is clear: second base sucks.